Friday, August 13, 2010

buzz

Dreary today, flanked by dreaminess and impatience. Longing for time to hustle yet nervous it's all used up. Words not coming today, not together, only mish-mashed like flashes of a movie, B-rated and entirely unglamorous. Consciousness is the barrier I cannot breach today. There is something out there, on the chaotic and mind-buzzing wind, something odd and obscure and worth pondering but it purposely avoids me in that bratty way things do when you have your mind set on something.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Buzzzzzz....

been pondering a lot about in and out...barriers...dividing lines...containment...

in particular this skin and this brain

why the barriers?

between in and out

not why, really, but what of the impact and influence of not being able to fully integrate with something because there is a divide...I cannot really touch the world because I am separated from it...

might I unzip myself, turn me inside out and truly FEEL...would this do it? would doing so remove the bitter sweet pain of not being able to fully connect?

might I unzip myself and allow my heart, my actual physical heart, to brush the pollen from the flower and truly FEEL?

might I unzip myself, turn me inside out and have my brain, my actual brain, touch what it is YOU feel when joy or pain or embarrassment or regret or self-hate washes through your heart?

might I unzip myself and let all the pain fall onto the dust and the rocks and the grass at my feet?

and then might it be real?